It's finally "hitting" me that this is the last time I'll be pregnant. You would think that the years of trying to conceive and failing, I would be used to this by now, but for some reason it's just really getting to me. Hubby and I had already discussed that he will have a vasectomy after Madi Grace is born. My OB asked me last Tuesday what are my future children plans were and when I told him he said, "Well don't have one until after this baby is born, we want to make sure that we have a healthy baby first". WTH????? I mean I work in the medical field and he has to say that to cover himself, but I ONLY WANT TO HEAR POSITIVE FEEDBACK. UGH!!!
Anywho, it's got me to thinking about how this is it. FINISHED, COMPLETE, DONE, THE END!!! I'm just not mentally prepared for this. How do you prepare for this??? To think that this miracle of being pregnant will never happen again, BUT then I think about my body this time around and know that I can't do it again. Those years of trying and trying to even get pregnant all come down to this one decision. How can I as a woman end that cycle???? Just really lost on this one.
After years of fighting infertility....my baby-making years are OVER. I'm trying to UNDERstand myself better and trying to find OUT who that "gal" is!!!!
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